Dominic Raab is aggrieved because two of the eight complaints against him have been upheld, stating that the findings of Adam Tolley KC’s report “set the standard for bullying too low”.
How is any level of bullying okay? When will we stop allowing people to hide behind “strong management” as an excuse for unacceptable behaviour? Does it really matter that it was “just a few” of the 100s of people he managed who complained?
There’s a misconception that those on the receiving end of such behaviour are junior to the perpetrator – those who may fear speaking out, accepting what’s happening so that they don’t lose their jobs. Don’t believe it! It can happen to anyone… to those in senior roles and even to those whose responsibility includes making sure it doesn’t happen to others.
How do I know? I’ve been there. Twice. Was it aggressive behaviour? At times – but usually in response to a direct challenge. Was it subtle? Definitely – and that’s why it was hard to admit what I was experiencing. Constant nit-picking (how many times did I say “criticise the content, not the font)… others taking credit for game-changing ideas… crazy hours… inconsistent messages… breaches of trust.
“You’re over-sensitive”, “you’re over-reacting”, “must be her time of the month” (Yes! Really!), and when stress resulted in significant (and so far irreversible) hair loss, “you’re just a hypochondriac”! And so it went on.
My confidence was shattered. I felt inadequate in my role. And to make matters worse colleagues – who I considered to be friends – fell by the wayside, unwilling or unable to offer support for fear of being the next target by association.
Recent events are a reminder of our role as HR professionals to spot the signs, support those who seek our help, and ensure that we’re doing all we can to encourage a culture that refuses to condone what is one of the most powerful threats to an organisation.
I’ve wanted to talk to the people involved; to explain to them how they made me feel. But time has passed. I’ve realised that you don’t always get closure, and that sometimes you have to create it for yourself by holding strong to your values and taking the good from very painful experiences.
So I end where I began… when is ANY level of bullying okay?