It brought me to tears. At times I consciously grimaced and had to look away from the page. Yet overriding every other emotion was admiration.  Admiration for the extraordinary courage of a woman who laid her soul bare, sharing details of deep personal violation, lifelong psychological scars, and one of the most disturbing catalogues of abuse of power and systemic injustice in modern times.

Nobody should ever attempt to minimise the severity or trauma experienced by Virginia, her “Survivor Sisters,” and the hundreds of thousands of people who have faced similar horrors – experiences that most of us, thank God, will only ever encounter second-hand.

And yet, is there a place to pause and reflect on what such stories reveal about courage? While the stakes are profoundly different, the principles they highlight are universal:

• the courage to speak truth to power
• the integrity to break systems of silence
• the moral responsibility to confront toxicity – wherever it exists, including in our own workplaces

Leadership, at its best, demands a willingness to listen, to face discomfort, to stand up for what’s right, and to create spaces where others feel safe enough to do the same.

Bravery doesn’t always shout.  Sometimes it’s the quiet, steady voice that refuses to stay silent.  In leadership, as in life, courage is the decision to speak up – to protect others, to challenge what’s wrong, and to do so even when silence would be easier.  That’s the kind of courage that defines not just great leaders, but good people.

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Yes, a disconnected leader can certainly cause damage, but a disconnected leader protected by a risk-averse, largely silent, self-preserving leadership team?  That’s how organisations begin to rot from the inside out.

From nodding on cue in meetings, to agreeing publicly but disagreeing in private, a leadership team that chooses silence is not being loyal, they’re being complicit in the erosion of trust and morality.

Weak leaders are often the first to benefit from an out-of-touch boss.  When expectations are unclear and decision-making is muddled, mediocrity has room to hide.  Accountability becomes an option rather than a responsibility and difficult conversations are ignored.

As a result, the courage within the leadership team is never challenged, hard decisions are passed up the chain, and the top leader becomes a convenient scapegoat.

How often do we hear statements like “It was their call”, “You know how they are”, “I didn’t agree with this decision”?  In other words: “We didn’t challenge it”, “We didn’t offer alternatives”, “We didn’t lead”.

The fallout of this is inevitable – employees receive contradictory direction, decisions slow down or stall, high performers question leadership credibility, lose trust, and start looking elsewhere. Employee relations cases rise as managers apply inconsistent standards, culture decays, talent development suffers, and strategic priorities slip.  Even routine operations become obstacles. Ultimately, the organisation’s energy is spent managing chaos instead of focusing on results.

Yet this pattern often continues unnoticed because the leadership team has mastered the art of invisibility.  By creating an illusion of alignment while avoiding the risks of speaking out, they protect themselves by staying in the shadows, preserving their position, and avoiding conflict.

However what happens when there’s a change at the top?  The spotlight is then on the leadership team and every overlooked decision becomes visible, every deferral becomes evidence and every “I knew but didn’t say” becomes a credibility crisis.

This isn’t just a leadership alignment issue – this is an issue of courage.  While HR can guide, advise and support, I’ve yet to meet an HR professional who can teach courage, install integrity, and force accountability where self-preservation has become the norm.  Courage must come from the individual and it must be visible.

An out-of-touch leader is a challenge, but a leadership team hiding behind them is a threat.  Organisations don’t need leaders who wait for permission, they need leaders who step into responsibility, who speak up even when it’s uncomfortable, who challenge assumptions and earn trust through integrity rather than titles.

Small acts of courage can make a big impact.  Stop nodding on cue and stop whispering your concerns, raise them in the room – respectfully but firmly.  Offer alternatives, even if uncomfortable and debate with integrity, asking tough questions along the way.

When leaders refuse to hide, the entire organisation benefits.  Clarity replaces confusion, high performers stay engaged, culture strengthens and priorities can move forward.  By making your decisions visible and holding yourself responsible for every outcome, teams learn that accountability and courage are rewarded, not punished.

Through these small displays of courage, leadership teams can transform from a passive protector of dysfunction into an active force for a thriving organisation.

So, step into the discomfort, challenge assumptions, speak truth, and stop hiding.  Lead visibly, lead boldly, lead responsibly.

Silence isn’t loyalty. It’s sabotage

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Uncertainty is no longer a passing phase – it’s the new normal, with changes coming faster than many of us can process.  For people professionals, this poses a significant challenge: how do we inspire confidence when the path ahead needs us to think differently?  How do we turn disruption into opportunity?  And how do we lead in a way that helps people and organisations not only survive, but thrive?

These questions are at the heart of the HR in Wales Conference, taking place at Cardiff City Stadium on Thursday 16 October 2025.

The Welsh economy in a global context

While we demonstrate distinctive strengths across key sectors (manufacturing, renewables, life sciences and digital), external factors like global decisions around energy markets, trade policies and geopolitical pressures all influence investment, opportunity, and competitiveness here at home.  Leaders in Wales must not only understand these dynamics but anticipate them.  Striking a balance between them and staying rooted in community impact and local identity will be central to long-term prosperity.

Technology disruption

Technology adds another layer of disruption.  AI, automation, and digital transformation are reshaping how businesses operate and redefining the skills required for success.  Some view these technological advances as potential threats with jobs at risk, processes disrupted, and established practices replaced.  Others see them as opportunities to unlock productivity, streamline operations, and create new ways of working that empower employees.  The future relies on Welsh organisations embracing innovation while ensuring that people stay at the heart of progress.

Resilience as a leadership capability

Resilience isn’t just the ability to bounce back when things go wrong.  It’s the capacity to remain steady under pressure, to keep sight of long-term goals, and to align teams in times of change.  Resilient leaders pivot when circumstances shift – they learn quickly, adapt decisively, and foster confidence in those around them. In today’s environment, resilience is not a “nice to have”, it’s the leadership skill that separates organisations that thrive from those that stumble.

Creating inclusive cultures

Employee expectations are changing rapidly.  Pay and benefits are still a priority, but employees also want workplaces that reflect their values, support individuality, and offer meaningful opportunities for growth.  Inclusion is an essential part of organisational success.  Recognising generational and cultural differences, addressing barriers, and fostering a sense of belonging helps build strong teams and individuals.  As part of this discussion, we’ll explore the recent Supreme Court judgment on Self-ID and consider what it means for organisations in practice and DEI more generally.

Organisational transformation and crisis response

Change is not always gradual, it can be sudden and disruptive.  High-profile crises – whether reputational, financial, or operational – test leadership at every level.  The ability to respond under pressure, communicate clearly, and protect trust is vital.  True transformation goes beyond systems and processes and requires culture, integrity, and strength.  Sessions at the conference will explore how leaders can prepare for the unexpected, steer organisations in the toughest moments, and emerge stronger.

Developing future talent through apprenticeships

Skills shortages are a reality across every sectors.  Apprenticeships offer a powerful response – building capability for today while establishing sustainable career pathways for the future.  Our case study will highlight how apprenticeships are not just about filling immediate gaps but offering accessible routes into employment while helping organisations align growth with community development.

The evolving legal landscape

With constant change comes new risks, rights, and responsibilities.  Employment law, equality and diversity requirements, and digital governance are all shifting and HR leaders must stay ahead of these advancements.  Understanding the legal context is not simply a matter of avoiding pitfalls.  It’s about enabling organisations to operate confidently and ethically in an everchanging environment.  By anticipating legal trends, leaders can then turn compliance into a strategic advantage.

Times they are indeed a-changin’, but with the right mindset and the right conversations, leaders can embrace uncertainty with openness and curiosity to build better, stronger organisations.

If these questions matter to you, join us on 16 October 2025 to pause, reflect, connect, hear from expert speakers, and explore how we can tackle these issues with confidence.

Find out more and secure your place at www.hrinwales.co.uk.

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Before the ink on my P45 was dry, I was already winging my way to New York to deal with urgent family matters.  By 6am on Day One I was having an early morning coffee in Battery Park, overlooking Lady Liberty – yes, feeling liberated! – reflecting on my career and wondering what lay ahead.

Personally, the timing couldn’t have been better.  Before the first month was out, my 93-year-old mother fell seriously ill and, following a month in hospital later in the year, is currently in full-time nursing care.  While I carry the inevitable guilt that comes after so many years as her primary carer, our daily time together is no longer defined by routines, logistics, and pills.  I get to be her daughter again.

Professionally, I couldn’t quite walk away from 30+ years of creating connections, championing fairness, and celebrating all that’s good about our profession.  Alongside my consultancy work, I created Leadership Connect – a safe space for honest conversations around the trickier challenges facing today’s leaders.  I also set up HR in Wales which continues to shine a spotlight on the outstanding work going on across Wales, through a reimagined Awards event, and thought-provoking conferences and webinars.

Delivering all this through my own business, with a headcount of precisely ONE, is financially… well, let’s just say interesting!  Every penny I earn from the limited time I can devote to fee-earning goes straight back into these initiatives.  So I can’t tell you how enormously grateful I am to sponsors and supporters who help cushion the blow and make it possible.

As I close out year one, I’ve realised that salaries, titles, and profits pale in comparison to the freedom and flexibility I now have.  I get to invest my time, energy, and experience into work that uplifts others – be that prioritising family, supporting friends through crises, or offering pro bono advice to individuals.

And yes – making sure the HR community in Wales still gets to party!

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But whilst I’m celebrating us, I’m also challenging us.

Too often, we’ve gone quiet when we should have spoken up; seen toxic managers promoted; watched brilliant employees burn out in broken systems; sat in rooms where silence felt safer than truth.  I get it. It’s hard.  But’s it also wrong to keep sacrificing what’s right to keep things comfortable.

My challenge to my fellow HR professionals is

• Speak out against discrimination, even when it’s subtle.
• Push back on decisions that feel legally fine but morally wrong.
• Refuse to rubber-stamp bad behaviour.
• Be the person in the room who asks: Is this fair? Is this human?

And my challenge to business leaders is

• Empower your HR teams.
• Give them space to challenge you.
• Make ethics part of the business strategy – not just a slide deck.

We can’t keep saying “people are our greatest asset” if we’re not willing to protect them.  Loudly.  Visibly.  Consistently.

So happy #International HR Day!  But let’s make it more than a hashtag.  Let’s make it a turning point.  HR has a voice.  We need to use it.

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With the CIPD moving to a different operating model and focus across the UK, the nature of my long-awaited semi (and early!) retirement began to take a different course.  Was there a way to fill the gap with the same spirit and impact?  Could I create something that built on an established format, but with a less formal vibe?  And perhaps most importantly, would our target audience still resonate with something that no longer carried the CIPD name?  But if I didn’t try, I’d never know, so HR in Wales was born – rooted in a vision, passion and commitment to nurture, connect and celebrate with our community.

As we go into the final week before the inaugural HR in Wales awards, I’m humbled by the support from friends and colleagues, old and new, and overwhelmed by the response.  Partners prepared to associate their long-standing and highly successful businesses with the new brand on the block; organisations prepared to dig-deep in challenging financial times to sponsor a new venture; a panel of experts prepared to add their credentials to this leap of faith; a bumper crop of submissions representing companies of all sizes and sectors wanting to showcase the excellent work their teams are doing, irrespective of the name on the gong; and a sell-out event!

Today, I feel nervous and excited – but it’s only this time next week that we’ll know if the gamble truly paid off and whether I’m really ready to hang up those HR boots after all!

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• Embrace your voice and identity: despite humble beginnings and not fitting the conventional norm, he relentlessly pursues his vision, embracing his ambition, intelligence, and determination to shape his future.
• Stay true to your values: his actions are driven by his core values and whilst these don’t always lead him down the easiest path, he remains true to what he believes in, even when faced with significant opposition.
• Adaptability and growth: he learns from his mistakes, adjusts his approach, and grows from his experiences; authenticity doesn’t mean rigidity.
• Courage to be vulnerable: regardless of his public persona, his letters and personal relationships share his past, his ambitions and his doubts, revealing his vulnerability – your true self includes flaws and struggles.

Hamilton illustrates the importance of being authentic by embracing your values, evolving with experiences, and staying true to your voice; authenticity may not always be smooth sailing, but sometimes meaning and purpose make the challenge worthwhile.

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In a previous blog I suggested that workplace bullying is, more often than not, subtle: disguised as “strong management”, creating a culture of fear of speaking out or saying no, leading to feelings of inadequacy, and often resulting in long term anxiety and stress.

It’s all too easy to dwell in the past, thinking of things said and – more importantly –  unsaid; harbouring feelings of injustice, unfairness, and hurt which haven’t completely gone away as people only heard one side of the story.

At the same time though, hindsight is, as they say, a wonderful thing!  The complexity of the dynamics involved, and the thinking behind the actions of those “strong managers” who chose to protect their reputations by creating a narrative which worked for them and the businesses, becomes clearer and to an extent, understandable.  As does the fact that colleagues either chose – or had little choice but– to accept the version they were presented with.

But “bullying” is a very strong and emotive word.  In our personal lives, maybe it’s more a case of being “put upon”,  manipulated, or simply disappointed by behaviours that we wouldn’t expect from those we thought were closest to us.  Just as hurtful.  Just as damaging.  Perhaps moreso as we’d like to believe we wouldn’t respond in the same way.

My earlier reflection went on to say that closure sometimes needs to be created internally, rather than validated externally.  It’s perhaps ironic then, that as this weekend hailed the end of Anti-Bullying Week, a simple – but deliberate – act by a former colleague who I’d recruited, supported and championed during the early years of her career, proved to be the final piece of my closure jigsaw!  And do you know what?!  It feels great!

I’ll continue to advocate for fairness at work, support those whose voices are unheard, and encourage people to take the learning out of every experience – painful or disappointing though it might have been at the time – to improve themselves and/or others.

So if you fear that you have a culture of “strong management” that needs addressing, or if you have specific incidents to deal with, or if you’ve been on the receiving end and don’t know where to turn, don’t leave it any longer!  I’m happy to share expertise and experience from all sides of the table to start changing behaviours, and help people “move on”.

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How is any level of bullying okay?  When will we stop allowing people to hide behind “strong management” as an excuse for unacceptable behaviour?  Does it really matter that it was “just a few” of the 100s of people he managed who complained?

There’s a misconception that those on the receiving end of such behaviour are junior to the perpetrator – those who may fear speaking out, accepting what’s happening so that they don’t lose their jobs.  Don’t believe it!  It can happen to anyone… to those in senior roles and even to those whose responsibility includes making sure it doesn’t happen to others.

How do I know?  I’ve been there.  Twice.  Was it aggressive behaviour?  At times – but usually in response to a direct challenge.  Was it subtle?  Definitely – and that’s why it was hard to admit what I was experiencing.  Constant nit-picking (how many times did I say “criticise the content, not the font)… others taking credit for game-changing ideas… crazy hours… inconsistent messages… breaches of trust.

“You’re over-sensitive”, “you’re over-reacting”, “must be her time of the month” (Yes!  Really!), and when stress resulted in significant (and so far irreversible) hair loss, “you’re just a hypochondriac”!  And so it went on.

My confidence was shattered.  I felt inadequate in my role.  And to make matters worse colleagues – who I considered to be friends – fell by the wayside, unwilling or unable to offer support for fear of being the next target by association.

Recent events are a reminder of our role as HR professionals to spot the signs, support those who seek our help, and ensure that we’re doing all we can to encourage a culture that refuses to condone what is one of the most powerful threats to an organisation.

I’ve wanted to talk to the people involved; to explain to them how they made me feel.  But time has passed.  I’ve realised that you don’t always get closure, and that sometimes you have to create it for yourself by holding strong to your values and taking the good from very painful experiences.

So I end where I began… when is ANY level of bullying okay?

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It’s been quite a week, and not least of all an emotional roller-coaster as the reason for doing it – to raise much-needed funds for Velindre Cancer Centre and Latch Children’s Cancer Charity – is very close to my heart.

Family and friends – sadly too many to mention – lost to this cruel disease, were never far from my mind, particularly of course, my Dad – missed every day for the past 14 years.  I smiled, thinking about those – fortunately too many to mention – who have fought and beaten it.  And my thoughts are with those who continue to take it on, showing incredible strength and bravery as they face the unknown.

In between all that there were many lessons learnt which apply equally to the world of work…

Planning:  As the saying goes, fail to plan, and you plan to fail, and 18 months of lists, lists and more lists meant that the trip went as seamlessly as possible.  The route was planned down to the last inch!  Satnavs programmed to take them down every wiggly road, and up some ridiculously steep mountains.  Rest breaks were scheduled at regular intervals.  Food, drink, and essential “rider-y” stuff – from rehydrating powder to spanners and puncture kits – and even a couple of guitars and a few spare bikes “just in case” were packed onto support vans.  Nothing was left to chance.  Oh – other than the rider who forgot to pack his pants… !

Flexibility:  Even with the most thorough planning, things can change – often at short notice.  A rest stop on a pedestrianised high street was never going to work: cue phone calls to the riders to divert them.  Owners at the final meeting stop before heading to the Castle in Edinburgh weren’t impressed by 28 (by now very sweaty) riders rocking up on a sunny bank holiday weekend, so a couple of friendly local policemen helped us find a different venue and even phoned ahead to warn them!  Even after long days in the saddle, nobody was fazed by a little last minute re-routing.

Communication:  Key to being able to change our plans was good communication.   Our cyclists rode in five groups – each with a nominated person with a location tracker enabled, and a second with a phone on so that we could pass messages to advise of any changes.  It worked perfectly – we knew if teams were delayed (whether due to a mechanical hitch or more often than not, an unscheduled beer stop) and it ensured that everyone was accounted for and safe at all times.

Teamwork:  Individual teams rode as a group and stayed as a group, supporting and encouraging each other throughout the day’s (literal) peaks and troughs.   Early morning motivational messages from sporting heroes and evening “messages from home” lifted spirits.   And at the end of each day, everyone came together sharing laughter, stories, singing… and comparing wounds!

Yes, it was a bike ride.  Yes, gallons of beer were consumed.  Yes, it was a lot of fun.  But more than that, it was a masterclass in collaboration.  The riders did the hard graft.  Those with other talents worked behind the scenes.  Everyone pulled together, keeping their eyes on the purpose that brought us all together to raise such an incredible amount of money.

If you’d like to donate, please visit https://www.sponsorme.co.uk/c2cycling/c2e22.aspx

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